HA! The inner dialogue wasn’t pretty

For me, overthinking can feel like a “Hell Reel” – that endless loop of self-defeating thoughts playing over and over and OVER! Which puts a major delay on… well, my actual living.

The Overthinking Tornado

Let me paint you a picture of what overthinking looks like in my world:

It’s 3 AM. I’m staring at the ceiling, replaying that slightly awkward interaction from SEVEN YEARS AGO. Why did I say that? What did they think of me? Did that one comment ruin my entire reputation forever?! My brain is like a hamster on crack, running circles on its wheel and getting absolutely nowhere.

Or maybe I’m trying to make a simple decision – what to wear to dinner, which project to start first, whether to text that person back right now or wait a bit. Suddenly, I’ve created 17 different scenarios for each option, complete with detailed catastrophic outcomes that would make disaster movie directors jealous. 

The Havoc It Wreaks

This overthinking business? It’s not just annoying – it’s a full-on life thief! Here’s what it does:

Steals The Present Moment

Lost in endless thought, fixated on the same subjects… We miss the actual LIFE happening right in front of us. The sunset we didn’t notice, the conversation we weren’t fully present for, the joy we couldn’t fully absorb because we were too busy analyzing everything.

Anxiety’s Best Friend

Our overthinking and anxiety are basically besties who feed off each other. One thought spirals into worry, worry amplifies into more thoughts, and suddenly we’re catastrophizing about things that have a 0.0001% chance of happening.

Energy Vampire

Nothing drains our battery faster than hours of circular thinking. It’s EXHAUSTING to be constantly vigilant, analyzing, and second-guessing. By the end of an overthinking episode, it feel like we’ve just run a mental marathon.

Decision Paralysis

When every choice feels like it could lead to disaster, we can freeze. Simple decisions become impossible mountains. I’ve literally spent 45 minutes deciding which show to watch until the window for watching ANY show has passed. (Please tell me I’m not alone in this?)

Relationship Strain

Overthinking makes us read into EVERYTHING. That text without an exclamation point? “Clearly, they hate me now.” That slightly different tone of voice? “Obviously, I’ve done something terrible.” It creates problems where none existed!

The Goal: From Overthinking to Careful Deliberation

So how do we make this shift? What’s the difference between harmful overthinking and helpful contemplation? For me, it’s about intention and outcome. Overthinking keeps me stuck; deliberation moves me forward.

Here’s what’s working for me:

Challenge the thinking

Take those thoughts to the mat. Wrestle them! Question their validity instead of accepting them as truth. Ask yourself: “Is this thought helpful? Is it even TRUE? What evidence do I actually have?”

Allow confusion

Accepting “I don’t know” is surprisingly powerful. Confusion is OKAY! It’s actually a natural part of the learning process. Not having all the answers doesn’t make you inadequate – it makes you human. And I actually think learning can be fun (nerd alert!)

Cultivate curiosity

There are opportunities to bloom and grow in every situation, even the uncomfortable ones. Instead of “Why does this always happen to me?” try “What can I learn from this?”

Embrace new perspectives

Relearning, learning something new, or getting a different perspective can actually be a pretty good time. Try to appreciate the experience of seeing things differently. It’s like trying on new glasses – the world looks different, and that’s kind of amazing!

Welcome uncertainty

No one really knows what could happen next… And that’s totally okay! Certainty is mostly an illusion anyway. Sometimes the best adventures start with “I have no idea what’s going to happen.”

Connect with others

Lean on people and cultivate those connections. Often, saying my overthinking out loud to a friend makes me realize how unlikely my catastrophic scenarios really are. Clear eyes, openness, and self-compassion can lead to feeling free. 

Practice mindfulness

When I catch myself in an overthinking spiral, I try to gently bring myself back to the present moment. What do I see? What do I hear? What can I touch? This grounds me in reality instead of the fictional novel my brain is creating.

A Work in Progress

I wish I could say I’ve conquered overthinking completely, but honestly… it’s a daily practice. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I catch myself early in the spiral, and other times I’m three hours deep before I realize what’s happening.

But that’s the thing about growth – it’s not linear. It’s messy and imperfect and THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY! 

Does anyone else’s head hurt from this overthinking business? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below! What strategies help you break free from your own Hell Reel?

This post is part of my life toward mindfulness and better mental health. If it resonated with you, please share with someone who might need it today. We’re all in this beautiful mess together!

“Perfect: having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.”

HMMM… Sounds like the ending of something, doesn’t it? So final. So complete. Like there’s nowhere else to go.

The Perfectionism Crossroads 

I see two paths here, my friend:

Option 1: Embrace the idea of imperfection 

Option 2: Gain a deep understanding about what “perfect” means on a personal level

For years, I believed perfectionism would equate to abundant success. The thing that would make me more accomplished, more worthy, more everything.

Plot twist: It’s been the most self-defeating way to move through this wild world.

The Truth About Perfectionism 

Let me be real with you. The messy parts – those mistakes, falls, and moments when life kicks you around a little – that’s where I’ve actually grown. That’s where the magic happens.

Avoiding mistakes? That’s just avoiding life.

Hyper-focusing on the “perfect” result, goal, or ending isn’t an enjoyable ride. Endings are such a small part.

Personally, I want the liberation of experiencing the whole damn thing 

Reclaiming “Perfect” On Your Own Terms 

Maybe we’re already doing this perfectly…

Maybe that party next Friday night is going to be perfect … not because nothing will go wrong, but because the laughter and connections are what truly matter.

Maybe I actually do look perfect in that dress … not because I fit some arbitrary standard, but because my boldness is my ultimate accessory.

I think a pair of gym shorts and a nicely-fitted crew neck looks perfect, but that might not be your jam

I think a friend who shares a challenging experience is perfect, but you might prefer different interactions.

The point is… Perfect, perfection can be based on what YOU place value and importance on.

The beauty lies in broadening that spectrum of what we consider valuable.

The Freedom Formula 

We lose so much precious time chasing made-up, impossible standards.

Listen up: You don’t have to be some boxed-brand of perfect to be loved or to be loveable.

You already frickin are! 

There’s absolutely no need to play it safe. Daring to be bold is AOK! (It’s more fun on the dark side anyway.) 

We’re perfectly doing the things… because we’re sticking to a quest of blooming and growing that’s never ending.

Your Permission Slip 

Consider this your official permission to:

• Make imperfect mistakes
• Learn messy lessons
• Create imperfect art (winged eyeliner counts)
• Speak w/ outrageous words
• Live an imperfect life perfectly YOUR way

Bring the ruckus!

And ya know what? My favorite mug has a chip in it, and my coffee is perfect every morning 

That’s the kind of perfect worth pursuing.

This post is for the recovering perfectionists, the messy masterpieces, and anyone who’s ready to redefine what “perfect” means in their life. You’re doing great, exactly as you are.